4 Tips for Bouncing Back from Rejection
Have you ever felt a shadow of doubt creeping up after a "no"? I'm going to guess that’s a “yes.” Rejection in the performing arts can feel just like that—overwhelming and unavoidable. Ten years ago, rejection made me feel powerless and scared, as if my success was in the hands of someone else. Every "no" from a casting director felt like sliding down the longest chute in Chutes and Ladders. But over time, I’ve learned that rejection isn’t the end of the story—it’s just another plot twist in a journey full of them.
Setbacks are a normal part of the industry (and life), yet they can still make us doubt ourselves. It’s not uncommon for an actor to have 20-30 auditions before receiving a callback—and even then, there’s no guarantee of booking the role. Some say that on average, professional actors book just 1 out of every 100 auditions! The odds may not be in our favor, and it can feel daunting.
Fear of putting ourselves out there starts to creep in, and so we play it safe. When we don’t get the part, we might tell ourselves we’re not good enough or even unworthy. How do we become unstoppable and fearless when rejection is inevitably going to come knocking?
The actors who consistently book roles, have been in the industry for 20+ years, and still love acting have redefined and reframed rejection to inspire and serve them. I want to help you do the same.
Tip 1: Main Character Energy (You’re on a Mission!)
Imagine your life is like a video game. To "level up," you need experience, and rejection is the ultimate experience builder. Every time you face rejection, it means you put yourself out there and try for something!
Like the hero in a video game, you gain experience, knowledge, and skills with each challenge. Rejection is your "level up" moment. You can’t win the battle against the "mega-boss" at the end if you’re still a level-one character. And you can’t book roles consistently without the skills, knowledge, and experience that come from facing rejection.
So, earn those points, level up, and remember—each rejection is a step closer to your ultimate victory!
Tip 2: Be Your Own Bestie
As Olivia Rodrigo says, “it’s brutal out here!” And she’s right. You’ve chosen one of the most competitive industries to work in. The expectations can seem wild: have a killer voice, be an incredible dancer, blow them away with your acting, have the right “look,” know the right people, not be too tall or too short, not too pretty or not pretty enough…
I once had an LA acting coach tell me I was too ugly to audition for “pretty” TV characters (cue a post-class crying session in my car). Everyone has an opinion of what’s right and marketable, and some won’t care how their words affect you. That’s why it’s crucial to love and support yourself. No one will be there for you like you can.
How do you speak to yourself when things get tough? When you don’t book the role? When an audition doesn’t go as planned? Does your inner voice sound like a best friend cheering you on? You have an incredible gift to offer the world. No one else has your exact voice or perspective. Nothing kills dreams quicker than self-doubt and negative self-talk. Protect yourself, like you would a best friend, at all costs!
Tip 3: Bravery is Beautiful
Every time you put yourself in a position where rejection is possible, you are one of the brave ones! There are two types of people:
Those who step into the ring, willing to take hits and keep fighting.
Those who sit on the sidelines, critiquing and playing it safe, avoiding risk (aka “trolls”).
Would you rather dare to fail greatly or hide in the shadows of those who don’t even try? There’s something beautiful about performers who are brave enough to put themselves out there despite the potential for rejection.
The actors who succeed most are often those who face rejection the most. So, next time rejection strikes, recognize the incredible bravery you showed. Being brave is beautiful, and it’s what sets you apart.
Tip 4: Rejection is Redirection
In my freshman year of college, I eagerly auditioned for my first university production as a BFA musical theatre student. I had moved states away to pursue my dreams of becoming a professional performer. Broadway, here I come! The morning after auditions, I rushed to check the cast list, only to find… I didn’t make it. It felt like the world froze, and panic set in. Almost everyone else in our department was cast, leaving me feeling completely rejected and alone. We’ve all had that sinking feeling in our stomachs. It hurts and feels so personal.
Over a decade later, I owe my success as a business owner, producer, and professional actress to that rejection. If I hadn’t been rejected from that production of Les Misérables, I wouldn’t have created and starred in my first self-produced show the following year. That led to my love for self-producing and entrepreneurship, eventually leading to Project Performer!
Rejection is the universe’s protection. When you see rejection as something that serves you, your life starts to unfold in beautiful ways. That show wasn’t part of my destiny, but creating my own work definitely was! Rejection can be a protector and a guiding light, showing you where you’re needed next. Instead of seeing it as hurtful, what if rejection was actually looking out for you?
When reframed to serve and help us, REJECTION becomes REDIRECTION. It shows us that bravery is something to be admired, not shamed. Each time you face rejection head-on, you level up in wisdom, knowledge, and experience, bringing you one step closer to success. And through it all, remember that none of this happens without a deep sense of trust, respect, and love for who you are and the unique perspective you bring to the world. I can’t wait to see what your "main character" does next!
Fun Fact: A casting director once told Euphoria star Sydney Sweeney that she would never make it on TV because she didn’t have the "right look." Well, look how that turned out—she's now one of Hollywood's brightest stars. And she’s not alone. Every performer you see on stage or screen has faced countless rejections and setbacks. Every single one of them. If you need more proof that resilience pays off, check out these stories of famous actors who were once told they wouldn't make it here.
Ready to Turn Rejection into Redirection?
If you're looking to build resilience and embrace your own journey, come join us at Project Performer! Let's navigate these plot twists together and turn every "no" into your next "yes."